twick or tweet

One of my granddaughter's favorite jokes is the one that starts " A duck walks into a bar...."  We tell it now this way:  Buck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Got any Gwapes?"
" No we don't have any grapes, and even if we did, you're a chicken, and we don't allow chickens in the bar.  You have to leave".
Buck leaves, but comes back in a few days and goes into the bar again,  goes up to the bar and says to the bartender-
"Got any gwapes?"
"No, dammit, I already told you, we don't have grapes, and we don't serve chickens, if you come back here again, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar."
So Buck leaves, downcast.
A week later, he comes back, walks into the bar, hops up on the counter and asks the bartender -
" Got any nails?"
"No" he answers " I do not have any nails!"
"Got any gwapes?"
This has come up to the status of a bedtime story, and I hear her telling it to other people with added variations of her own.
I'm thinking I might have to put out a bowl of grapes and seafood delight on Hallowe'en because the only visitors I'm likely to have way off the main candy route is a flock of visitors from another galaxy disguised as chickens.